Cookie contest!

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  KevinAnderson on Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:07 pm

MichaelReed wrote:that was funny.... wel...
one of these has to be funny...

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pansy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

lol?????
plz? bounce bounce bounce
.

rofl! The first one was hilarious!! If Matthew doesn't give you a cookie for any of those, then he's just trying to keep them for himself! Smile.

The truth can set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you. In which case, forget it buddy!

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  MichaelReed on Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:02 pm

lol!!! ya i think matt is relly trying 2 keep his cookies to himself!!!! Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
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cookies

Post  JoshOngley on Mon Oct 13, 2008 7:04 pm

here's mine

chuck norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass...... at night.
chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding.
if you want a list of chuck norris's enemies check the extinct species list.
chuck norris was put on a toilet paper package, but it didn't work because chuck norris doesn't take crap from anybody.
when chuck norris jumps out of a boat he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norrised.
when chuck norris does pushups he doesn't push himself up he pushes the world down.
when chuck norris had surgery the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
chuck norris once broke a land speed record with a bike that was missing its chain and the back wheel.
there is no such thing as tornadoes, chuck norris just hates trailer parks.
when chuck norris goes to bed at night he turns on the night light, not because he's scared of the dark but the dark is scared of him.
when chuck norris looks in the mirror the mirror breaks because its smart enough to not get in between chuck norris and chuck norris.
darth vader dresses up as chuck norris for halloween.
chuck norris has alredy been to mars, that's why there's no signs of life.
aliens do exist, they're just waiting for chuck norris to die before they invade.
handicap parking isn't for handicapped people, it's a warning that its chuck norris's and if you park there you will be handicapped.
the real name of the alien vs. predator movies was alien vs. predator vs. chuck norris, then the producers realized no one would watch a 14 second movie.
chuck norris's hand is the only one that can beat a royal flush.
there is no control button on chuck norris's computer because he's always in control.
chuck norris can eat just one lay's potato chip.
chuck norris invented the tooth fairy, it was a way for to compensate for roundhouse kicking everybody in the face.
chuck norris ate a bean supreme and farted, this was known as the first nuclear bomb test.
the continents can't drift away from each other, they just found out that chuck norris was in america and they are running away.
chuck norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
chuck norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.
chuck norris counted to infinty, twice.
chuck norris invented the phrase "put a foot in your mouth"
chuck norris doesn't step away from a vehicle, the vehicle steps away from chuck norris.
the bermuda triangle was the bermuda square, until cuck norris roundhouse kicked one of the corners.



I know there's alot but this is probably the only time I can get on the computer this week.
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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  Matthew_Anderson on Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:53 pm

MichaelReed wrote:that was funny.... wel...
one of these has to be funny...

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pansy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

lol?????
plz? bounce bounce bounce

srry but 1 cookie per post soooo...... YOU GETZ TEH COOKIE!! affraid affraid affraid

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  Matthew_Anderson on Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:55 pm

JoshOngley wrote:here's mine

chuck norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass...... at night. DuMb
chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding. Heard it!
if you want a list of chuck norris's enemies check the extinct species list. not that funny
chuck norris was put on a toilet paper package, but it didn't work because chuck norris doesn't take crap from anybody. what?
when chuck norris jumps out of a boat he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norrised. no
when chuck norris does pushups he doesn't push himself up he pushes the world down. nope
when chuck norris had surgery the anesthesia was applied to the doctors. no
chuck norris once broke a land speed record with a bike that was missing its chain and the back wheel.
there is no such thing as tornadoes, chuck norris just hates trailer parks.
when chuck norris goes to bed at night he turns on the night light, not because he's scared of the dark but the dark is scared of him.
when chuck norris looks in the mirror the mirror breaks because its smart enough to not get in between chuck norris and chuck norris.
darth vader dresses up as chuck norris for halloween.
chuck norris has alredy been to mars, that's why there's no signs of life.
aliens do exist, they're just waiting for chuck norris to die before they invade.
handicap parking isn't for handicapped people, it's a warning that its chuck norris's and if you park there you will be handicapped.
the real name of the alien vs. predator movies was alien vs. predator vs. chuck norris, then the producers realized no one would watch a 14 second movie.
chuck norris's hand is the only one that can beat a royal flush.
there is no control button on chuck norris's computer because he's always in control.
chuck norris can eat just one lay's potato chip.
chuck norris invented the tooth fairy, it was a way for to compensate for roundhouse kicking everybody in the face.
chuck norris ate a bean supreme and farted, this was known as the first nuclear bomb test.
the continents can't drift away from each other, they just found out that chuck norris was in america and they are running away.
chuck norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
chuck norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.
chuck norris counted to infinty, twice.
chuck norris invented the phrase "put a foot in your mouth"
chuck norris doesn't step away from a vehicle, the vehicle steps away from chuck norris. WHAT?!?!?!
the bermuda triangle was the bermuda square, until cuck norris roundhouse kicked one of the corners.



I know there's alot but this is probably the only time I can get on the computer this week.

NO!!!

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  samlowell on Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:27 am

1.Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.

2.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

3.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

did any make you lol?
here are some more

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the heck down.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”
Enjoy!
lmao i have more

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Q: What’s 30xoblinvion=?
A: chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

well thats all
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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  MichaelReed on Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:54 am

a couple of those r funny... have heard most of them though.... the time 1, the thing he cant do, the bar 1, and the 1424 things 1 lol! geek geek geek
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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  Matthew_Anderson on Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:59 pm

sam gets a cookie just cuz....


and i get 1 more for all around coolness Cool

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  KevinAnderson on Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:51 pm

The first one was pretty funny but I heard most of the other ones before.

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  IsaacLenox on Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:52 pm

lol sam, i love ur avi
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COOKIES! matchoooo....:( lol.

Post  natalie on Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:10 am

hahaha rotfl i laughed at all of em' yall so dont feel bad for MATCHOO not hinking they were funny! Rolling Eyes lol! tsk tsk tsk matchoo..no cookies for you from natalie..lol. Mad jkjkjk! heehee! but i got nufin with jokes...lol. No can i still have a cookie though....please matchoo you can be my bestie forever and ever!*puppy dog face* lol! anywho i really really like cookies! bounce *sadder puppy dog face* lol. drunken

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  Matthew_Anderson on Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:55 pm

natalie wrote:hahaha rotfl i laughed at all of em' yall so dont feel bad for MATCHOO not hinking they were funny! Rolling Eyes lol! tsk tsk tsk matchoo..no cookies for you from natalie..lol. Mad jkjkjk! heehee! but i got nufin with jokes...lol. No can i still have a cookie though....please matchoo you can be my bestie forever and ever!*puppy dog face* lol! anywho i really really like cookies! bounce *sadder puppy dog face* lol. drunken

ok fine u get a COOKIE ( : : )

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  MichaelReed on Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:50 am

i got a joke makin fun o canadians!!!!!!!! is it ok?? Wink Wink Wink
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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  KevinAnderson on Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:16 pm

MichaelReed wrote:i got a joke makin fun o canadians!!!!!!!! is it ok?? Wink Wink Wink
Go for it. But if anyone complains I'll have to take it down...

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  Matthew_Anderson on Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:27 pm

MichaelReed wrote:i got a joke makin fun o canadians!!!!!!!! is it ok?? Wink Wink Wink

if it's REALLY funny you can have 2 COOKIES!!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  MichaelReed on Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:56 am

okay!!!!!!

here it is!!

When NASA of Canada first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, Canadian scientists spent almost 8 years and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil. Razz Razz Razz

COOKIE NOW???
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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  Matthew_Anderson on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:23 pm

MichaelReed wrote:okay!!!!!!

here it is!!

When NASA of Canada first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, Canadian scientists spent almost 8 years and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil. Razz Razz Razz

COOKIE NOW???

2 COOKIES for stupid canadians! Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  MichaelReed on Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:13 pm

yay!! 4 cookies!!!!!!! w00t!!!! ill go change my sig!!

do u want more jokes that make fun of other countries??????
cuz i have lots more!!!
some of these are kind of mean, is it ok?? theres nothin bad, but is it ok??

heres one 4 now:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

there are more like this, do u like it, cuz i want more COOKIES!!!!!! lol! lol! lol!
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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  natalie on Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:54 pm

ok first i dont understand the first joke...second the other joke was heehee sad and funny at the same time! *sigh* is such thing as happy funny jokes? lol.

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  JoshOngley on Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:52 pm

yeah but not in New Jersey What a Face What a Face What a Face

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  MichaelReed on Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:37 am

explain this.........
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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  Matthew_Anderson on Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:03 pm

yeah you can post mean jokes and even a little racist (maybe you better check with caleb on racist) but yeah go for it!

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  MichaelReed on Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:39 pm

k!!!!
here are like 3 of em

1. (not racist)

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

2. u probably heard this already, but if u haven't, A blonde was pulled over by a cop. The cop asked, "Why are you swerving so much"? The blonde replies, "Well first when I turned a tree was there so I turned the other way but there also was a tree. Then a whole bunch were popping out of nowhere!!" The cop replied, "You idiot, that's your air freshener!!!"

3. A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

i shoudl get a cookie 4 at least 1 of those... Razz Razz Razz
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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  KevinAnderson on Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:44 pm

MichaelReed wrote:k!!!!

3. A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”


made me laugh.... Very Happy

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Re: Cookie contest!

Post  Matthew_Anderson on Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:05 pm

none were that funny but the last was ok

but ok here is a COOKIE ( : : )

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